Regret....

I'm starting to feel that I chose the wrong course...main reason? (reason 3 could be boring if you're not in mechanical engineering course)

1. after going through 4 semesters, with 3 big projects in 3 of the semesters, I failed all 3....

2. It seems like i'm not fated enough with all those machineries, especially parts...i'm trying to like them but obviously they dislike me...

3. scanned through the core units that I have to take next year in Third year, there is :

i) Mechanics of solids 2 <- this one still okay, since I'm doing pretty well in mechanics of solids 1 this sem.

ii) System dynamics and control, prerequisite : Engineering Dynamics <- in which i did really badly last sem. i'm terribly bad at dynamics >.>

iii) Fluid mechanics <- still okay, thermofluid this sem is not that hard.

iv) manufacturing Engineering (should be okay seeing the assumed knowledge course & prerequisite)

v) Engineering management <- sort of continuation from Professional engineering 1 (one of the 3 that i mentioned above). furthermore, there will be essays & reports writing!! i'm doomed....

vi) Mechanical design 2 (continuation from mechanical design 1, another one of the 3)....

vii) Materials 2 <- continuation from materials 1 (almost killed by it last sem, next year will have to see that 2-inch-thick-book again....)

viii) thermal engineering <- thermodynamics stuffs, if i were to say, this will be the easiest UoS (unit of study) in sem 2, even though it is really hard to begin with...

In short, it seems like i'll be half dead in the first sem, and completely screwed in the 2nd sem...at this rate, i'm not sure whether i can make it into honours program in the 4th year...don't even say trying to achieve first class....

Ahhhhh I really do regret now...I should have just taken Science, majoring in physics or maybe chemistry although i don't like chemistry as much...or maybe follow my bro to be a pharmacist...damn it, i really hate engineering now.

sorrow of the helpless....

Went out for lunch, without bring my phone along. By the time I got back, there is a miss call notification, and that was already half hour ago. I called back, not knowing what happened, and the first call has those sort of signal disturbance, we can't hear each other clearly. hanged up, and call again. calling failed for like 3 to 4 times, diverted to voice mails another couple of times, i guess she's calling me back at the same time, and that continued for like another 6-7 mins.

By the time the call finally got through with clear sound, she sound so anxious and by her voice, I can tell that she's been crying (and still crying). As she tells me her problem (computer work related), I tried my best providing solution based on what i know, as well as some Googgling. Unfortunately, at the end of the 50 mins conversation, problem could not be solved, and she has to start doing all over again.

I feel terribly sorry and I don't even know how to console her in midst of her panic....guess i'm still inexperienced in handling this kind of situation especially in front of a weeping counterpart. Yes, I will feel extremely bad seeing a girl cry, no matter the reason is because of me or not (of course, I'll feel even worse if its because of me). Even in movies/dramas, seeing the actresses cry made me feel bad.

Even until now, thinking back that she could have been crying for 30 mins before I called her back, I feel really sorry. Especially when I can't be of any help at all...If I could be of any help to her at the very least, I won't feel this bad but now.......I can only hope that she'll be fine soon. God bless her. Sorry for being so helpless.........