Lies

Everyone tell lies, are they not? Is there anyone here dares to stand up & says that he/she never lies? If anyone does, one definitely contradicting himself/herself as he/she is lying right at that moment.

Most of the time, when someone is trying to lie to you, you may notice it by the way he/she talk or from his/her facial's expression or at least you will doubt it as you are confident that you are correct and he's wrong. However, what if thousands/millions or even everyone around you are telling you the same thing which you are sure it was a lie at first? You will now doubt yourself & tend to deceive yourself that you are wrong the whole time.

" A lie told often enough becomes the truth."

Lenin
Russian Communist politician & revolutionary (1870 - 1924)

When do we lie?

1. when one did something wrong & does not wish anyone to know it.
2. when one had to keep a secret but being forced to reveal it.
3. when one is trying to cover another lie.
4. when one doesn't want his/her loved one to be hurt by the truth, hence so-called white lies.
5. when one is making benefit from telling lies (scheme)
6. when one is trying to hide something from anyone

Within just a few minutes, I can come out with this much reasons & excuses for telling lies and yet, I believe there are more and more, just you name it. There is a person I know "which"(later you will know why I use which instead of who) is an expert in lying. From the moment I know him(it), almost 98% of what he said were lies. Even after his friends found out that he's bluffing, he will create more and more nonsense lies to cover the 1st one. Such scenario continued for years and for this kind of people, we refer "it" as a firedog. I really can't understand why he likes to bluff so much. Is it fun? Or is he rewarded something for all those lies? I will never figure it out unless I become such a liar(which I definitely doesn't want to).

I remembered that I read an article in a magazine(which I forgot which and when) about a "Lying Contest". There's this guy, who won the contest, which at first he is very proud of himself, for possessing such a great ability. Ironically, he soon finds that all his friends and even relatives are staying away from him ever since. Every single word coming from him seems to be very honest & extremely convincing, but it turns out that they're all lies. Can you imagine yourself hanging out with such a person? where you will have to think several times before you believe anything coming out from him, even it is as simple as : "I'll be right back in a minute."

After reading through the boring & irritating idea of lies, here's some jokes for you (they are still related to lies though). Enjoy!!

Susie is doing her housekeeping as usual, until she finally notices a box which is kept under their bed and she normally won't bother cleaning there as the bed is almost as low as the floor. As she opens the box, she found a few eggs and few hundred bucks inside. After thinking for quite some times, she finally decided to call her husband Frank to ask about it.

"Oh that, for every lie I told you, I will put an egg inside."

Being angry at first, soon calmed down as she realizes a few lies over the years are still acceptable.

"What about those cash?"

"Whenever the box is full, I sold those eggs."

A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.

The group surrounded a dog. Concerned lest the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked "What are you doing with that dog?"

One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we''ve decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."

Of course, the reverend was taken aback. "You boys shouldn''t be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don''t you boys know it''s a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."

There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he''d gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the dog."

A busload of politicians were driving down a country road when the bus suddenly ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's field. The old farmer heard the tragic crash so he rushed over to investigate. He then began digging a large grave to bury the politicians.

A few hours later, the local sheriff was driving past the farmer's field and noticed the bus wreck. He approached the old farmer and asked where all the politicians had gone. The old farmer explained that he'd gone ahead and buried all of them. "Were they ALL dead?" asked the puzzled sheriff. "Well, some of them said they weren't," said the old farmer, "but you know how them politicians lie."

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “My dear child, why are you crying?”

The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family.

The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with pearls. “Is this your thimble?” the Lord asked.

The seamstress replied, “No.”

The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a silver thimble ringed with sapphires. “Is this your thimble?” the Lord asked.

Again, the seamstress replied, “No.”

The Lord reached down again and came up with a simple leather thimble. “Is this your thimble?” the Lord asked.

The seamstress replied, “Yes.”

The Lord was pleased with the woman’s honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When the seamstress cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, “Why are you crying?”

“Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!”

The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. “Is this your husband?” the Lord asked.

“Yes!” cried the seamstress.

The Lord was furious. “You lied! That is an untruth!”

The seamstress replied, “Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said ‘no’ to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt. Then if I said ‘no’ to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said ‘yes,’ you would have given me all three. Lord, I’m not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT’S why I said ‘yes’ to George Clooney.

And so the Lord let her keep him.

Tony hates it when he's lying and when someone lied to him